Hilarity Ahead... Caption Contest, Please Read and Vote!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, we will start with the Roger McDowell card. I received 4 entries and picked the one on the top as the best. It came from Adam of the Thoughts and Sox blog, but he already has a lifetime exemption for the Red Sox in any and all future breaks (details will be posted soon) so he doesn’t win anything… I did receive one entry via email that really made me laugh, but all the 4-letter words that started with F, C (2 of those) and D just made it unpostable. This is a family blog Joe V.! Okay here is the McDowell winning caption…
On this card Roger McDowell is saying, "Yes Jim McMahon I stole your headband. What are you going to do about it?"
The honorable mentions are:
“I am a tool.”
And:
“The ad said these glasses were guaranteed to get me some serious tang! What gives Rayban?”
Okay, now here are some of the captions for Randy Myers… Some of these came in late, others didn’t want in on the break, but most came from folks who already paid up. I will print them anyway, cuz they are funny…
Here we go:
“Crap, tripped over the chalk line AGAIN.”
And
“Wow, the original artwork to the movie poster for “1994 the Fall of the Homosapien”. That movie sucked!”
And
“I get it; the ghost and the peanut butter are in cahoots!”
And
“It’s a shame Pinnacle cropped out the limbo bar, RKM was the 1994 champion”
And
“Wait, today was picture day? I knew I should have packed my left foot”
And
“My pancreas!”
And
“Wait guys, I fell on my keys”
And
“Mark Grace, will you marry me?”
And
“When did Tommy Lasorda play for the Cubs?”
And
“Your mama is fat she makes Randy Myers look like Barry Bonds (in 1994)”
And
“This is the last time I go out with Billy Martin before a game”
And
“Oh, you mean Ace of Base is to taking home 4 Grammies as Michael Jackson is to take off those jammies?”
And
“So, a priest, a donkey and a barber walk into a bar… I’m sorry, its just I know how the joke ends and its so funny I am rolling around laughing my ass off.”
And
“Oh look, a quarter!”
And
“It worked for Dock Ellis, what am I doing wrong?”
And
“Who cares if I skip gym class”
And
“You start the leg extension pose like this, and-hey, where is my foot?”
And
“Cocaine is a horrible drug, I’m Randy Myers bitch!”
Okay, those all came via email, well 2 were comments that were late. A few of those had the same author, but he was funny, so I posted them all. Three different women offered up comments and I think theirs were the best. One of those captions is from me, can you figure out which one? Okay, now onto the contest… I will post this as a one day poll. At stake is a free slot in the next group break. Here are the real entries:
From shahekee:
“I know I can't possibly pitch worth what they're paying me, perhaps I can entertain with my impersonation of a Walrus playing baseball. Maybe then I can get them to give me another contract too. Gee do we have a mascot? This pitching thing sure isn't working.”
And from Roy-Z:
“In 1993 Randy Myers led the National League in saves with 53. He would have had #54 on this day, if it were not for a well-executed trip from set-up man Jose Bautista.”
And from SpastikMooss, a play starring Randy Myers, Marty, Doc and Mark Grace:

(Randy Myers returns from a trip to 2010 with Marty and Doc) Myers: Guys, check out this new post I learned in Wii Fit!Mark Grace: What's Wii Fit?Myers: It's this Nintendo game that has you do yoga!Mark Grace: What's yoga?"
And White Sox Cards said:
"And one day, I'm gonna get into a real game and I'm gonna slide like this and throw someone out just like this! How cool would that be?! Wait, recess can't be over! What about my dreams?!"
This one is from FanofReds:

“You know the steroid era has gotten out of control when the pitchers are ducking down before even throwing a pitch.”

And Sharpe said:
“Man, how odd is Randy Myers today folks? He comes out of the pen still wearing his warm-up jacket and never takes it off. Looks like he's prepared to pitch this way. He's a bit wobbly up there, looks like he might have stayed out a bit late last night with the boys.Here's comes the one-oh to Deion Sanders. Wait, it looks like Myers has paused mid-motion out there on the mound, and yup, he's just fallen over. I guess that's a balk?”
And the last entry comes from Dan’s Other World:
“And here we find the short-lived species reliefus fireballus sprawled on the ground in what seems to be a defensive position. Notice the bold colors used to frighten away would-be predators. The hiding of the eyes suggests a fear of the unknown approaching. This is due to him being removed from its natural habitat before the migration season.”
Okay, that is all of them… I received a total of 33 different captions from 18 different people; I think that is a DAMN good turnout, don’t you? 4 of them weren’t fit for my family orientated blog, but they were pretty good. Refer to George Carlin's list for things I can’t print on my blog. Anyway, the last 7 captions are for you (the reader) to judge. The voting thing will be in the top corner of this blog and will stay up for 24 hours. Vote for what you think is the best and the winner gets a free slot. As a bonus, if TWENTY or more votes are placed, the winner will get to take their pick of a relic card-I have about 9 or 10 to choose from right now. They will be listed by their screen name, the voting is anonymous, and so no feelings will be hurt. I have my own top choice and if you the readers don’t agree with me, then TWO people will get a free slot. The winner will be announced this time tomorrow. Okay? NOW VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, by the way... I have pulled an even more ridiculous card in the last rip, so if the turn out is decent, this will repeat itself. Oh, if you want me to stop posting this pic and stop picking on poor Randy, you must vote! Oh, if you didn't enter a caption, add a comment, it will still be funny when I get out of work... Go Rays! troll out.